Things I’m Happy I’ve Done before I die

Learned another language 

drunk mead out of a horn at a pagan ceremony 

Lived in a haunted house

Moved to a different country 

Accidentally introduced a new species of snail to Scotland 

Lived in a caravan 

Seen seals in the wild 

Escaped a cult

Seen fireflies in the wild 

Been a contortionist 

Ridden an elephant 

Been to a ceilidh

Had a near-death experience 

Seen a dead body 

Been to the Scottish highlands 

Seen shooting stars 

Won a swimming competition 

Climbed Ben Nevis 

Swum in the North Sea 

Cycled the whole way around an island 

Seen basking sharks in the wild 

had pet budgies

Climbed a mountain 

Seen a bald eagle in the wild 

Won a singing + dancing competition whilst dressed in a bin bag 

Seen the northern lights 

Climbed a waterfall 

Stayed in a station house 

Jumped off a waterfall 

Been white water rafting 

Climbed a (dormant) volcano 

Seen a UFO 

Had a mystical / spiritual experience 

Had poems published 

Shot a gun 

Had pet gerbils 

Sung a lead role in a local opera 

Been backyard camping 

Walked the South Downs Way 

Been to a late-night fairground 

Been to a ballet

Won a badminton match against the then county champion 

Broken into an abandoned house 

Had pet fish

Won a debate competition 

Co-founded a global student forum 

Done seven A-levels 

Founded a peer counselling scheme

Been in the newspaper 

Been an artist’s muse 

Lived in London 

Been inside Westminster Abbey 

Eaten lunch in the Harrods food court

Gone to Anita Roddick’s funeral 

Been to a talk by Oliver Sacks 

Lived in Kensington 

Done a ritual with a coven of witches 

Been a ghost for an evening 

Run an art gallery 

Been to a Dresden Dolls concert (before amanda palmer became… worse)

Won a karaoke contest 

Been to a Catholic ceremony 

Seen a West End musical 

Dropped out of university 

Been on a research team at Oxford University 

Camped at Stonehenge 

Watched the sunrise on the solstice at Stonehenge 

Got married 

Swum in a lake 

Burned a wicker man in a Pagan ceremony 

Worked at a tech start-up 

Been a member of a reptile rescue society 

Taken magic mushrooms 

Adopted a teenager 

Had pet snakes 

Been to a music festival 

Seen Seasick Steve live

Run an international team 

Seen The Pretenders live

Taken part in a Hindu ceremony 

Seen Neil Young live 

Been to a secret cocktail bar 

Interviewed at Google 

Drunk seven glasses of neat absinthe 

Become a private investigator 

Written songs 

Played gigs in London 

Spent my birthday partying with strangers in a Scottish pub 

Signed the Official Secrets Act

Played at an open mic night

Been to a film premiere

Run my own business 

Spent New Year’s Eve on Primrose Hill 

Quit smoking

Watched the entirety of Star Trek in air date order 

Met The Rock 

Busked to make a living 

Been the official fortune teller at a village fete 

Read tarot for a city mayor 

Swum in the English Channel 

Been to a talk by Roger Penrose 

Published an academic paper 

Helped to bust a ring of paedophiles who were live-streaming child abuse content 

Became a digital forensics investigator 

Been to Amsterdam 

Travelled alone 

Had a pet cat 

Been a film critic for a popular website 

Got divorced 

Eaten Philly cheese steak in Philadelphia 

Been to South Carolina 

Accidentally got a dog for a weekend 

Seen a whale in the wild 

Renovated a house 

Been bodysurfing 

Met Graeme Simsion 

Been on a boat tour of the Waccamaw River 

Watched the sun rise over the ocean 

Got drunk on illegal moonshine with members of the FBI 

Swum with a sting ray 

Seen sharks in the wild 

Been on the radio 

Swum in the Atlantic Ocean 

Been inside the MI5 building 

Accidentally serenaded some FBI agents with Dolly Parton ukulele covers 

Been to Barcelona  

Swum in the Mediterranean Sea 

Been to Dublin 

Visited the library at Trinity College Dublin 

Been to Temple Bar in Dublin 

Interviewed at MI5 

Seen the Book of Kells 

Been a judge in a moot court 

Sung in a choir 

Worked at the European Commission 

Contributed to writing part of the GDPR 

Seen Renaud live 

Been to Lausanne 

Worked at Childline 

Been to Malaga

Watched a Romani flamenco show 

Written a book 

Published a textbook 

Been to New Orleans 

Visited Marie Laveau’s grave 

Been on a boat tour of some Louisiana swamps 

Seen vultures, ospreys and alligators in the wild 

Held an alligator 

Been to an opera in Modena 

Been to Texas 

Visited the Alamo

Written a novel 

Owned a business that had employees 

Been to a unicorn wine tasting 

Been to Rhode Island 

Eaten ostrich 

Travelled with my best friend 

Been to Oslo 

Grown tomatoes and eaten them 

Trained as a psychotherapist 

Passed my driving test 

Been to North Wales 

Done a burlesque workshop 

Been to a Buddhist ceremony 

Married myself 

Stayed in the Shard 

Renovated a house 

Been inside MI5

Eaten caviar 

Done an MA 

Executive produced a film 

Met Alan Rickman

Got a grant for a PhD 

Rehabilitated a fox who had mange 

Met Emma Thompson

got drunk at night in the Hunterian Museum at the Royal College of Surgeons

Dissected a mouse 

Seen a comet 

Done a midnight flit 

Been to New Orleans 

Lived in a Romani vitsa 

Written a novel 

Learned Scottish country dancing 

Been camping

Danced at a ceilidh in Scotland 

Watched an airshow in the Welsh mountains 

Learned the traditional language of the land I lived on 

Danced at a barn dance in England 

Evangelised 

Seen the boreing machine which created the Channel Tunnel 

Shoplifted 

Written a memoir 

Stolen something 

Been to Texas 

Moved to a different country 

Published a memoir 

Been to Goodwood Festival of Speed 

Visited the Millennium Dome 

Spoken at a conference online 

Played gigs in London 

Spoken at a religious assembly 

Watched someone die 

Found a dead body 

Published an academic paper (solo) 

Hunted my own food 

Won an art prize 

Seen a dead body 

Won a singing prize 

Shot a gun 

Won a poetry prize 

Visited the Alamo 

Won a radio competition 

Driven a car

Won an academic award 

Collaborated on a research project 

Graduated high school 

Ridden a bike

Got an MA 

Performed at open mic nights 

Been a competitive swimmer 

Caught a frog 

Ridden on a motorbike

Won a swimming competition 

Been to South Carolina 

Won a netball competition 

Lived in a tent

Performed as a contortionist 

Been homeless 

Ridden an elephant 

Lived in a caravan 

Ridden a donkey on the beach 

Been in a cult 

Got married 

Lived in temporary accommodation 

Got divorced 

Escaped a cult 

Got engaged 

Lived in England

Worked in a cattery 

Been shunned by almost everyone I knew

Passed seven A-levels 

Lived in Scotland

Passed 13 GCSEs 

Been in a rowboat 

Seen a Punchdrunk theatre show 

Learned a foreign language 

Seen a Kneehigh theatre show 

Been in a canoe

Seen a DV8 theatre show 

Been in a fight 

Seen a show on the West End 

Been on a ferry

Learned to drive 

Published a textbook 

Been to Wales 

Seen live jazz in New Orleans 

Stayed in the middle of the countryside on my own 

Co-written a textbook 

Stayed in a fancy hotel 

Been to Rhode Island 

Co-run an art gallery 

Published poetry 

Set up an art exhibition 

Seen purple lightning from a plane 

Worked as a translator 

Got lost in New Orleans 

Helped teenagers to learn to read

Been to Amsterdam 

Volunteered for a food bank 

Travelled alone 

Attended Anita Roddick’s funeral

Flown through a tropical storm 

Met Emma Thompson

Travelled with my best friend 

Met Alan Rickman

Been to Brussels 

Seen a professional gospel choir 

Visited the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam 

Been in a choir 

Met Hugh Grant 

Been on an Amsterdam canal boat 

Met Jude Law

Got lost in a foreign city

Learned to play an instrument 

Met up with a group of strangers for dinner in Amsterdam 

Sung in a concert 

Helped to run a local arts organisation 

Seen a solar eclipse 

Started a podcast 

Been a judge at a moot court 

Set up the first ever influencer network 

Been a book reviewer 

Worked as a computer forensic investigator 

Run a team 

Been a blogger 

Dogsat 

Taught at a university 

Been on a London canal boat 

Catsat

Been to Bruges 

Busked in London 

Worked at the European Commission in Brussels 

Been to a traditional village museum in Oslo 

Lived in London 

Eaten po’boys in New Orleans 

Taken a boat trip through some fjords in Norway 

Seen the northern lights 

Climbed Ben Nevis 

Eaten local seafood in Rhode Island 

Climbed a dormant volcano 

Been to mass in an ancient church in Italy 

Seen eagles in the wild 

Helped to create the GDPR 

Seen vultures in the wild

Got lost in the Tuscan countryside 

Caught and released a wild snake

Was alive at the dawn of a new millennium 

Jumped off a waterfall

Visited a place where they produce balsamic vinegar in Modena 

Been white water rafting

Eaten Belgian chocolate in Belgium 

Found a pink grasshopper

Drunk Chianti in Tuscany 

Lived by the beach

Seen a musical on the west end 

Swum in the North Sea

Drunk moonshine in South Carolina 

Swum in the Atlantic Ocean

Eaten Swiss chocolate in Switzerland 

Swum in the Mediterranean Sea

Got drunk with FBI agents 

Swum in the Irish Sea

Seen a lunar eclipse 

Swum in the English Channel

Been inside the MI5 building 

Swum with a stingray in the wild 

Been to Switzerland 

Seen a whale in the wild 

Been to a ballet in London 

Seen sharks in the wild 

Been to Lake Geneva 

Seen wild egrets 

Been on a swamp tour in Louisiana 

Seen wild alligators 

Been to Louisiana 

Held a baby alligator 

Been on a river tour in South Carolina 

Rescued snakes 

Seen an opera at Pavarotti’s home theatre in Modena 

Held a large snake 

Had a pet tortoise 

Been to Dublin 

Had a pet cat 

Eaten balsamic vinegar in Modena 

Had a pet hamster 

Got drunk in an Irish pub in Dublin 

Rescued a lost dog 

Stayed in a villa in Tuscany 

Fostered a teenager 

Drunk whiskey in Ireland 

Had a pet bird 

Sunbathed on a hidden beach 

Had a pet snake 

Been to Spain 

Run a company 

Eaten biscuits and gravy in the Southern USA 

Visited the Gullah and Geechee communities in South Carolina 

Seen Romani flamenco in Spain 

Read the Bible in Gullah 

Learned about voodoo in New Orleans 

Been to a Catholic ceremony 

Been to Catalunia 

Been to a Pagan ceremony

Attended the fire devil walk in Barcelona 

Taken part in a Hindu ritual 

Been to Barcelona 

Taken part in a Pagan ritual 

Been to Florence 

Cast a spell 

Been to Oslo 

Lifted a curse 

Eaten freshly caught fish in Norway 

Read tarot 

got drunk on illegal moonshine with FBI agents 

swum with a sting ray in the wild

accidentally serenaded a group of FBI agents with Dolly Parton ukulele covers